Feelings
by Sundiel260
Summary: I was never one to feel feelings. I was always good at acting them, but never really felt them. But I guess that all changed when he stepped into the classroom one morning, shouting his name loud and clear enough to gain some attention really fast. Especially mine. I never felt this way before but I like it. And I will make sure that no one harms him, even getting blood on my hands


I guess I could say a lot about my school, or then again I can't. It's really nothing special or out of the ordinary and it doesn't stand out much, but it has… what's the word for it? Something like uncommon or exclusive or maybe unique and idiosyncratic. But those don't seem to fit in here. The school is normal, that much I can say, but its students on the other hand well, tend to be… different.

Allow me to elaborate. You know how in some schools, people would be in some category or division that they made up? Like some kids would be labeled as cool, others weird, some nerds, and others normal just by their personalities. Well my school is no different from that but it tends to be… how do I put this gently? It tends to be… strange.

Not that I'm saying that people are strange, heaven no! It's just that they don't exactly follow the rules of separate divinity. Well not really the rules but more of what people seem to expect from the groups. They don't really do that now or even before that. I guess it's because of the calm, nice, relaxing aura this school has. It's not strict or uptight and rule bent to keep you in line, oh no. The staff is nice, the people here are even nicer, the food is decent but the faculty can let you help out in kitchen if you ask them nicely enough, the students are okay, and best of all, as long as you get your homework done and do well in your grades, you're allowed to roam around the school without restrictions or limitations.

It's nice to roam around the school halls or sit in the garden to let your thoughts wander away. Just as long as you tell the teacher that you're going out for a bit and stay on school grounds, you'll be fine. Some students use this as a way to get out of stress of pressure and to get away from it for a while. I on the other hand find it as a ticket way to get lost in my own thoughts and drown out my problems.

Even on days like this after I had excused myself from my history class earlier and made my way to the roof of the building, laying against one of the vents and gazing wishfully at the sky. It's so clear and blue and beautiful, much like me. But it has one thing that I don't have nor will I'll ever have in my life. Something I dream of greatly ever since I was a young child.

Love.

Silly right? A sky, an inanimate object that has no beings or feelings nor could it ever express them, has the one thing that I've craved for in forever.

Love.

I never had love in my life. Even in my young life as a small child, love was never given to me. My parents were horrible to each other and would sometimes put their frustration on me. Our life was pretty bad and not once do I ever remember having a wonderful time back then. If it wasn't for my cousins Blooky and Madly who took me in after seeing how horrible my parents were to me, I was sure that I would have died by then. But even with their support and care, I still couldn't feel any love from them. Oh don't get me wrong, they do love me, it's just not the love that I'm looking for.

Love.

Something I longed for ever since I was ten. I was never one to search for love or even try to, but I always had a longing for it. To love someone who in turn loved me back. A few times someone would try to share their love for me, try to get me to share my love for them, but it would never work. I would feel nothing towards them no matter if we went out on a date or two or hung out for a while. None of those feelings would arise inside me and none would show as I would end it as gently as I could.

Love.

At one time in my life, I had asked a friend of mine who had found love of her own what love felt like. She blushed and stammered but otherwise she told me that love was completely complicated yet simple at the same time. I asked her how that was even possible, even in her standard of it, and she told me it just was. Who was I to try and make sense of her logic? She thinks differently than me and I can't hold that against her.

Love.

Is it wrong of me to long for such a thing? Is it wrong how I can never seem to grasp it yet others around me can? Is it wrong for me to despise those people who found love while I have found none? Is it wrong to think that I could, someday, find it? To find the right person who I could love and they would love me back? To dream that someday, someday that, that my love would appear one day and I would finally have the chance at love?

… Pitiful.

Even I know that's a far away dream and a lost hope. Love doesn't come to you like in the fairytale books. I gave up believing in such things long ago.

… Yet why do I still dream of such things?

"M-M-Mettaton?"

Twisting my gaze off the sky to one of the doors that led back in the school, I didn't even need to look at them fully to know who made that cute meek little voice. And it wasn't just her voice that was meek, her whole figure was meek as well, if not scrawny. She's a small thing, even around her age, just less than five feet coming up to 137.1 cm in height. Blond hair kept above her shoulder length sat on top her head, spiking out in five ways that one would assume that they were almost horns. Her front slight bucked top teeth stuck out from her upper lip that she was biting at the moment due to her nervousness and sensitivity.

Putting on my best smile as I stood, I gave her clothes a once over. Yep, still formal wear. Plain short sleeve white t-shirt and navy blue knee length pants with white sneakers. Casual wardrobe to wear as usual. The poor girl just didn't understand that she could wear whatever her heart desired here at school, as long as it was appropriate wardrobe of course. The only thing that wasn't so formal was her old worn down yellow backpack. Every spot on the poor thing had a clip or something Alphys had sewn on was related to anime. The girl was obsessed with that stuff twenty four seven.

In a few short strides I was right in front of her. The poor girl looked so small compared to my size, which was under seven feet just under 189.9 cm. It didn't help that the boots I wore each day only added to my height.

"Is it time for our next class already Alphys darling?" I asked, batting my perfectly applied mascara eyelashes at her. A cute little flustered look came upon my face and I couldn't help but giggle at her. Alphys was so easy to ruffle up with such small gestures.

"Y-Y-Yes." She gazed down at her feet, shuffling them uncomfortably, locking her fingers together.

"Well let's go then." With swift movement, I grabbed one of her hands, being gentle as I could since she was a fragile little thing, and pulled her along down the stairs into the hall and down the path that we took almost every day ever since we first came to this high school together. The trip to our class room, which was math class, was quiet save for Alphys stuttering at me to slow down a little since I took wider steps thanks to my longer than hers limbs. I would just pick her up carry her there, and it wouldn't be much of a task since she's so light weight, but then there was a chance that people would spot them and start thinking the wrong way and spread rumors that was sure to reach Undyne's ears no time flat.

And I want no qualms with that girl. Sure Alphys could probably get her off my back and clear things up, but still, I don't want to risk it. From what I saw that girl can do, it's better to be on the safe side than on the bad side.

The classroom door soon came into sight and I released Alphys, slowing down my pace so now she could walk beside me. She mumbled a small thank you, adjusting her glasses before frowning and taking them off and squinting at them. Rolling my eyes in a good nature way, I snatched the glasses away from her, taking the end of my hot pink low cut baggy sleeved over shirt, rubbing the lenses till they were deemed clean enough and slipping them back onto her face. She nodded her head at me, showing her cute little smile at me which I once again smiled back.

Poor girl. I'm not sure what she would do without me to this day if we hadn't ran into each other in middle school.

Opening the door to the room and following in after Alphys, I quickly made my way to the back row, taking my usual seat that was closest to the window. The sky was still blue and beautiful. It had all my focus on it, save for a few seconds to glance at Alphys in acknowledgment as she took the seat next to me, taking out her items for class. I don't really like math all that much. It was just so boring and I could hardly care about it and I could just skip out of it with no worries since my grades were okay, but it was one of the classes that Alphys and I were in together, and I hate the thought of leaving the poor girl all alone by herself.

Besides, with her here, she could take notes five times faster than I ever could and she was an angel for giving me her spared copies that she had made just for me, written out in a more readable way than what the teacher would put down. I'm honestly quite glad that Alphys could translate this stuff for me. At least I could read and understand more of it better than the original writing.

Soon the door opened again and our math teacher walks in, talking in his usual bored tone voice as he began writing on the chalkboard. Without further prompting, I looked out the window again, tuning out everything as I let my thoughts consume me.

My life in the begging was a wreak since day one, it got a little better after my cousins took me in, only to come crashing down again in middle school till I met Alphys halfway in and it started to piece back together again. And right now? Well, I don't live in my cousin's house anymore ever since I landed a high paying job to support myself enough to rent my own little home. Madly still sends money over to me to help pay half of it, and I pay him back by watching over Blooky when he can't.

Blooky doesn't really have the best of health or very strong, so it worries Madly very much that he has to keep an eye out for him whenever they go out. I love our cousin so much, so it was no problem for me to step up and take over the job when Madly was too busy to do so himself.

Love.

With a sad sigh, I lay my head on the desk, still keeping my eyes on the sky. Some part of my conscious was aware of Alphys asking me if I was alright. I didn't the energy to answer her. Oh well, school was over in two more class periods, then I could go home and watch over Blooky for two whole days since today is Friday. At least I can relax more around him and drop my cheery charade that I put up around others.

I blinked back to reality as the speakers clicked to life, gaining the whole classroom's attention. Oh? It wasn't too often that principle Dreemurr had an announcement to make over the speakers.

" _Attention students and_ _faculty._ " His voice rang out, though everyone including myself can tell he was trying to contain his excitement in it. It must be big news if he was getting all hyped up about something. " _I have wonderful news to share with you. Next week we'll be getting two new transfers to our school, so I want you all to be on your best and welcome them both with open arms and warm smiles._ "

My head perked up a bit at this information. Transfer students? Well that certainly was good news. It was a new chance to meet some new faces in this place. " _Also, would miss Undyne please come down to my office? I would like to have a talk with you about throwing thousand pound weights out the gym's window._ "

I gave Alphys a sympathetic look as she slammed her head in her notebook and let out a little whine of mix disapproval and sadness. Poor girl, she probably had plans to hang out with Undyne later after school. Patting her lightly on the head, my eyes were soon back to looking at the sky, half listening to the students as the talk in low hushes after the speakers clicked off. Half of the students were murmuring about the possibilities of how Unydne was able to throw weights out the gyms window, the other half talked about the new transfers. I was also curious about the transfers. I wonder what they're like?

* * *

"I'm home!" I shouted as I closed the door behind me, dropping my bag to the floor and sigh tiredly, brushing one hand through my short thick black hair. As expected, there was no answer, but I already knew Blooky was here. The door was already unlocked when I arrived and I knew only Madly and I had the keys to this place.

Walking towards the living room, I paused a bit, seeing the hallway mirror in the corner of my eye. I wonder if anything is out of place with my makeup?

Stepping over to it, I thoroughly inspected every part of my face. My eyeliner was in place, black lipstick is still perfect, flawless skin with no blemish or zit in sight, well applied mascara was still in condition, hmm… Smiling at my reflection, I confirmed that my makeup was still fabulous as ever… except that my hair was a little out of place. Grabbing a hair brush off a nearby counter, I quickly but carefully set to work fixing my hair back in place. When that was done, I smiled at myself, winking. Prefect!

Placing the brush back down, I resumed my earlier destination to the living room, peering in around the corner. Sure enough, there was Blooky lying on the couch with his headphones on, drooped across it with an arm dangling over the armrest. One look at him and you could see why Madly was so worried about him. He's a thin scrawny little thing, scrawnier than Alphys actually. Torn jeans accompanied by a loose thin white short sleeved t-shirt with one of those hippie symbols printed on it. The one with the circle with four lines on the inside of it. His skin is pale, almost white which is what his hair color is. No he doesn't dye it white he was born with that color. His mother's side has a few white haired relatives.

My eyes glanced down to the floor, smiling widely at the big dog lying beside the couch next to Blooky. Aaaaawwwww, Sir William is such a good boy~! Whistling to get Sir William's attention, I stepped into the room and kneeled down as the big dog looked up, waging his tail happily as soon as he saw me and stood to his feet, lumbering over and into my out stretched arms.

"How's my big boy doing? Did you do a good job guarding Blooky while I was away?" I cooed, petting Sir William's fur down and hugging him tightly, smothering my chin against him. I laughed as a warm wet tongue lapped against my cheek, not caring in the slightest if my makeup was ruined now.

"Oooh, hey Metta." I looked over at Blooky, seeing him sit up and taking his headphones off. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Oh that's fine Blooky, no trouble at all." I waved a hand at him. "Has Sir William already gone out?"

"Yeah, I let him out the moment after Madly dropped me off. Did you want to let him out yourself? I'm sorry."

"No no no! It's fine darling! I very much appreciated that you did so." I stood up, patting Sir William on the head and walking over to my dear cousin. "So, do you want anything to eat tonight? Anything on your mind at all?"

"No." He said sullenly, lying back down on the couch. "Not really. I'm not that hungry right now."

I nodded, thinking of what take out to order for later. "Well, just call me if you need anything." I smiled, walking over to the stairs that lead to the second floor, ascending slowly enough for Sir William to keep pace with me. Poor Sir William. He's a good boy, a real good and loyal dog, but he was nearing the end of his life and wouldn't be around for much longer. Probably just for another year or so before he passes on.

A sad sigh left my lip as we made it to the final step, stopping a moment to bend down and pet him on the head. He looks at me with those sad eyes of his, probably knowing what I was thinking at the moment. He's a smart dog, the smartest dog I've ever known. He's also my longtime companion and best friend. Madly gave me Sir William on my sixth birthday as a pet but also to be a guard dog. I couldn't quite fathom why he would give me a dog back then, but I admit I'm so glad he did.

Russian Caucasian mountain dogs are one of the best there are out there. Opening the door to my room, allowing Sir William to go in first and follow after him, a small sigh left my lips as I walked over to my puffed hot pink bed, falling on top it dramatically while placing the back of my hand against my head.

Sir William let out a short gruff sounding bark, jumping onto the bed and lying next to me, placing his head on top my exposed stomach. I smiled fondly at him, petting him behind his ears where he liked it best. I could always count on Sir William to cheer me up on a bad day.

I also liked to tell him my secrets. Since he couldn't tell anyone anyway, it was okay to tell him my woes and sorrows. "Sir William… do you think I'll ever find anyone to love?"

He snorts, rubbing his head against my exposed skin. 'Of course you'll find love one day Mettaton.', I imagine him saying. 'You just have to keep looking for it.'

"But what if I never find it?" I glance up to the bare ceiling. "What if I spend my whole life never finding my one true love?"

'Love doesn't come easy Mettaton. But love does take its sweet time to find you.'

"… You're right." I sighed, rubbing him slowly on the head. "Love just… hasn't quite found me yet."

He let out a bark. 'That's the spirit!'

I smiled at him. "Oh! And one other thing. It seems there's going to be two new transfer students over at school next week."

Sir William lifted his head off me, ears held high. Sir William was always wary of new people that he didn't recognize right away, and I knew he would probably be on guard for any changes in my behavior and be extra on guard as well.

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about Sir William." I assured, sitting up and taking his massive head in my sleek hands. "They haven't even arrived yet so there's no need to worry about it for now."

He huffed, leaning into my hold. 'I'm still going to be on high alert anyways.'

"Yes." I hugged his head, smiling fondly at him. "I know you will."


End file.
